Divorce Mediation Service - San Diego County
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David A. Casey - Mediation Service Attorney 365 Broadway, Suite 203 El Cajon, California Telephone (619) 447-6780 - E-mail: Familylaw1@aol.com |
Conveniently Located in El Cajon next to I-8 & Hwy. 67
CLICK HERE TO READ PAGE TWO RE: THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION.
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DIVORCE MEDIATION, CHILD CUSTODY MEDIATION, SUPPORT MEDIATION.
What all three of the above mediations have in common, is that this method saves you and your partner, spouse, or other parent, the cost of two attorneys, which could be substantial if your case becomes "heated" or heavily contested. Why not save money plus the emotional conflict and try mediation first. Even more importantly, it saves your children from entwined in your legal battles.
Do I believe mediation works? The answer is yes! What I have found when the couples, parents, or partners go into mediation, they seem to work towards a settlement of even the complex issues. They are more willing to negotiate a reasonable settlement that they can live with without having to spend their entire savings, equity or max out their credit cards just to battle it out in court. It seems when each party has an attorney, that ultimately, the case gets more litigated since their attorneys do the battles for them. Initially, Mediation is not cheap, but in the long run, it makes sense to work through the issues and try to resolve them rather than to litigate them especially during an emotional and stressful period of time.
For 19 years I practiced law in a very aggressive way, always fighting the battles for my client many times at a substantial cost. However, I have also successfully negotiated settlements with the most "hard nosed" attorneys and opposing parties who claimed they would never settle. Too many of these clients thought that it was all about getting back at the other person or using the children as a tool in their litigation for more or less child support. What is sad is that they didn't realize what they were doing until I pointed it out to them. After careful and thought out guidance, they were able to work more towards settlement which ended up saving them thousands of dollars in attorney fees. Mediation helps the parties to resolve their differences in an non-adversarial environment. |
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Does divorce mediation work for everyone? Unfortunately not. But a good majority of the time, it will eliminate most of the contested issues, leaving just a few issues to resolve. Even if it does not work completely, it probably still saved a substantial amount for both parties. But my experience has been very positive about the parties being able to work out their own agreement instead of the court telling them what the court orders. Remember, if you do not have an agreement, even though your attorney presents your case to the court, there is NO GUARANTEE as to what the court will order. Isn't it better to mediate and negotiate a settlement together knowing what you will or won't get? An agreement reached by the parties in mediation is just an enforceable as the one the judge hands down.
An important question asked by several people who have inquired about mediation is, who do I represent? Whose side am I on? Although I am an attorney, for the purposes of mediation, I do not act as an attorney for either party. Instead, my role as a Mediator is to provide each party with the information necessary to allow each of them to make informed decisions regarding their marital issues. So do I take sides? Yes, in the sense that I am there to guide the dissolution process or custody/visitation problems in an effective, issue resolving, peaceful and effective matter. I try to keep your case from blossoming into a full-fledged and prolonged legal battle that only ends up hurting you, your children, and other family members as well. If your matter becomes entangled and embroiled with bitterness and anger, who is really winning? Did you want to end up using all your assets to continue litigation? I have been there representing clients in that position. In one case, that cherished toaster became a "pawn" for battle. That toaster ended up costing $12,000.00 in attorney fees. Some of my clients have spent thousands of dollars, yet they are no closer to their expectation than when they first started, or they are facing a very costly trial. People have a tendency not to consider the "full picture" when their emotions get the best of them. Yet, after the to hired guns are out of the picture (the attorneys), they seem to be able to reach an agreement.
I will tell you, the parties and their children are very seldom "winning" in long, heavily litigated cases. It is the attorneys, counselors, evaluators and the court. Now the choice is up to you!
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JUST CLICK ON THE HEADING BELOW TO READ ABOUT THE SUBJECT MATTER
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CLICK HERE TO READ PAGE TWO RE: THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION. |
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Mediation is a voluntary, and at times a very confidential process where a neutral third-party (the mediator), helps parties in conflict to come together to talk and decide how to resolve their disputes regarding specific issues of family law. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for the parties. This is why mediation works. With the right information that the Mediator provides in a non-adversarial environment, the parties reach an agreement they both mutually agree to. With my many years of experience in Family Law, I have a good success rate to help empower the parties to reach an agreement that they both can live with. Private mediation is NOT the same as Family Court Mediation through the court. That mediator makes a recommendation to the court to make orders that you must abide by. Mediation is NOT a counseling session.
How does mediation work? It means that whatever you say in the mediation process for negotiation, is confidential. This means whether it is when one of the parties is talking alone with me or when both parties are present, it will not be repeated outside the mediation by the me. If the mediation is not successful and you go to court, I can not be subpoenaed or required to testify in court, nor can any/all records or paperwork from my office be used in the court process. However, the court can still have access of normal documents which are not confidential. One example of this would be taxes. In other words, when the parties agree to conduct and participate in mediation for the purpose of compromising, settling, or resolving a dispute, evidence of anything said or any admission made is not admissible as evidence and may not be compelled to be given. It means that both parties must agree to mediate. If one party does not want to participate, then the mediation cannot occur. It take two parties to conduct a mediation. Either party may end the mediation at any time, for any reason. But based on my experience, normally if both parties sign up for the program, it does work. That is your choice, but I have found after the process begins, most people do want to work towards reaching an amicable and fair settlement. Perhaps the first session doesn't result in what you were looking for, but by the time the process is half over, most parties are working in a positive direction. As your mediator, I will not tell you what to do or make a decision for you. I remain impartial and focused on providing you appropriate information regarding your situation. If you and the other party are unable to come up with an agreement in mediation, then you can take another approach. Proceed to court! But be ready to accept the judges orders that may not be to your liking at all. Plus you will probably spend a lot of money to get to that point. Once your matter gets into court, you lose control over it. Remember when a Judge issues an order, it is an order, unless you appeal it. Judges utilize the same process as a mediator based on what he or she has been presented in the file, arguments from the attorneys or parties, which means very little time is spent on details. If you would like to mediate and the other party does not, I can send a letter indicating your intentions and information about mediation that may encourage them to participate. But again I can't take sides. Mediation is a voluntary process, and no one will be required to mediate. When you litigate and proceed to court, in many ways it is a forced mediation ending with the court ordering what neither party wanted leaving both parties dissatisfied. This only sets the stage to go back into court again and again. This is very costly. Remember, in mediation, you pay one attorney instead of two. Private Mediation gives you and the other party the chance to resolve any disputes yourselves. I know I would rather decide my fate rather than having a Judge decide it for me. Most people are many times more satisfied with resolutions that they developed themselves, than what the court imposed on them. You can resolve your concerns in mediation in much less time, less stress and you are part of the resolution process. Most mediations are a much shorter process than contested litigation that can take more than a year or even longer. I have had those longer cases and I can assure you, the parties were not any happier litigating or very satisfied with the outcome. At least in Mediation, you make the choices. You don't have a lingering black cloud over your head. The parties can move forward in a positive direction with their lives.
Should I bring an attorney to the
mediation? No. There are no witnesses or judges at a mediation session. Generally, only the disputing parties and the mediator are present. The purpose of the mediation is not to determine who is right or wrong but to reach a workable agreement that both parties can live with. Usually witnesses chose sides and distract the parties from resolving the issues. The purpose is for the parties to talk with each other and to work out a mutually acceptable agreement to settle the dispute. If another third party is needed, it would be a professional to determine the value of real or personal property or tax issues. I have been a family law attorney for almost 19 years and have been involved in hundreds of cases that included contested litigation. I have a very good track record of having been able to settle even the most complex cases. My many years of contested litigation and dispute resolution have given me the necessary skills and training to provide you with the knowledge to make informed decisions.
What is the difference
between mediation and arbitration? The cost of Mediation varies just like a divorce. But I offer a guide to fees so you can see what the costs may be. The cost is based on whether or not the parties have children, real and personal property, retirement plans, etc. If you press click here you will go the the next page where the Fees and Costs are listed. CLICK HERE |
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13. The Benefits of Divorce Mediation On You and Your Family. The Alternative to this process is listed below. Allows the parties to take charge of their lives and design a plan for their future that would be good for themselves and for their children or face the alternative that the court will tell you both what you can and can not do. Facilitates, promotes and improves communication between the parties or facing spending your hard earn assets or income on attorney fees, court fees and never feeling satisfied. Hard bargaining tactics are avoided! The alternative is to hire an attorney to litigate all the issues and get depleted of your funds. Helps the parties to exchange views and information. In the alternative, both attorneys exchange costly letters and the issues could take months to resolve. Helps to reduce conflict and hostility between the parties. The alternative litigation approach is to live in a state of conflict with the hostilities between the parties only getting worse. Encourages co-operation and trust. The alternative produces more discord and distrust. Allows the parties the opportunity to express their feelings associated with ending the marriage in a safe environment. The alternative usually builds more anger and possibly leads to domestic violence. The parties are assisted in articulating their goals and interests rather than taking positions. The alternative is to hire attorney to speak for you and the judge to decide for you. The parties have more control over the outcome. With the court you have no control over the outcome. Your attorney argues the case and the judge decides in a few short minutes. Increases potential for solutions that may go beyond remedies which can be ordered by the court. The court only can make orders which they have legal right to do including taking away children and issuing support orders even if it causes bankruptcy and bad credit for both parties. Settlements generally work much better because of the fact that the parties worked cooperatively to arrive at the agreement, rather than having it negotiated back and forth between their lawyers and if that doesn't work, proceed to a costly trial. Mediation empowers the parties to solve their own disputes and find a compromise that works for both of them. Litigation takes away the power of both parties and places it in the hands of a judge, Family Court Services, instead of you! A mutually acceptable solution lets both parties be winners and respect each other. In the alternative, neither party feels they have won anything and end up owing a huge amount of attorney fees. Now you decide what is better for you. Mediation or contested court litigation? |
CLICK HERE TO READ PAGE TWO RE: THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION.
14. What are the benefits for your children?
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GROUND RULES FOR MEDIATION Not everyone who starts the Mediation process will welcome them. Hopefully in the first few hours of the mediation process they will be using them.
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MEDIATION DOES WORK! |
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CLICK HERE TO READ PAGE TWO RE: THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION. |